If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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