Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
