I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
