operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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