Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
