No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
