You're a womanizer and a bitch.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
