I can't watch pbs sober anymore
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
