time to smoke my breakfast
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize