I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
