: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
