Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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