All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
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Sorry my hands just texted you
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
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