We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
