recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
