What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Randomize
