My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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