i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
