Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
