I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
