Dual....:-)
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
