I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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