I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
