What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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