Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
