Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
