I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize