just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
