bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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