In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
