Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
