What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
