Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize