i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
