I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She told me I should be a condom model.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize