i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize