Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
