i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
