it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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