We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
