She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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