hotel room ftw
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
