i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize