Nicole vs. Life
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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