Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
