I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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