sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
