I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
