In the future we'll all be gay
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
