Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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