May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
God, I missed his penis.
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