why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
