Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
