I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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