and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
