You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
