worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
