so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize