hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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