Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
