Pregnant stripper...not hot.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
