its not stalking. its research.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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