dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
