every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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