Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
