I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
