how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
