I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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