does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
